Add power to your speaking with silence. How pause can build confidence, flow and powerful engagement
The power of the pause
I’m sure you’ve heard of it.
But let me put it into context.
Think about the calm before the storm – when your body knows before your mind that something is “in the air”.
Think about the silence in a forest where the trees are normally moving and the birds are normally chirping, and there is normally rustling in the grass. The silence triggers attention, heightened awareness and a closer connection to the environment and what might have created the silence – again, often before the mind has consciously registered what is going on.
Think about a page of text with no white space around words or paragraphs, with no indents or font changes, no bold or italics to make words stand out, no headings.
And yet for many of us, public speaking and presenting is just that – speaking, words -and we focus all of our attention on the words and getting the words and sentences and structure out before something happens to stop it – before we forget, before we are interrupted, before something goes wrong.
Which is a shame because when we slow down, purposefully, stop speaking strategically, we relax. Our voices drop and consequently sound more authoritative. We cause the audiences to trip up in the flow of words, and notice, have moments that bring real connection with what is going on. We bring about a chance to play with the audience, take them with us into this experience. And for ourselves, we experience the feelings of connection, power and confidence that make us want to speak, happy to speak, and that engage our audiences so that they like, know, trust us and take the next steps we have for them.
Types and Secrets of pauses
So let’s look at some of the types of pauses and the secrets to using pause in your speeches and presentations.
- Reflection
The first of these is used, especially in storytelling when you are creating a vivid setting, describing the senses and you pause after each ne, so that your audience senses, take ownership of the scene, is there in it with you.
The second is the moment when you have made your point and you want your audience to reflect on the point, take it in, see its value. It’s a way of saying “This is something I want you to think about, I’ll just give that a moment to sink in.” You may pause just before you state the point or just after you have done that, but it haws the power to make that point stick. It’s especially important if you have covered complex ideas or something that is very personal.
This supports and empowers your main message.
When you can implement it, the feeling is powerful.
- Emphasis
This is certainly used before a point, but before you even begin making the point. It builds the feeling that something new is coming, that you are moving in a new direction, and that it is important to you. You might move on the stage, walk, or change position, adjust material on the stage, and appear to be thinking.
This builds the power of your speech structure.
When you implement it, you feel more in control and have more faith in your prepared structure
- Drama
This is not so much dramatic or over-acted, but it heightens and changes the energy or tension of a presentation. It is usually part of a story or humorous section, but can be applied anywhere and it’s a chance to take the audience into your secret, a chance to silently say “See what I’m doing?” or “See what I did there”? You can look at them as you pause, maybe tilt your head, depending on the material.
This builds connection and engagement.
It reinforces your faith in yourself as a speaker.
- Fill in the blanks
I’m sure you’ve seen this done, or perhaps practised it yourself. It’s where you end a part of your speech with a sentence, a well-known sentence or saying. So having made the point that victory is achieved not by any single individual, but through everyone coordinating their efforts together, you might say “As we all know that there’s no I in …………….” And then make yourself wait until the audience (and they will) says “team.”
This is also a powerful pause, but I find it often overused. I have listened to speakers use it often and have begun to feel like I am in a classroom listening to a teacher, because It certainly does get an audience focussed and buying into the particular words or point.
- Control
This is a minor example I know, but I also know that I often get questions from clients who are nervous about staying in control of an audience and particularly of Q & A (Question and answer sessions) one technique to employ. If you pause before answering you give the questioner the honour and respect, you give the question honour and respect and take control without letting yourself answer too quickly and rambling without prior thought.
Pause and build your speaking rhythm, flow and style.
It can begin as early as when you first begin your speech before you utter a word or make a gesture. Pause, wait. Do you remember those moments in school when the teacher was quiet, someone was talking or ding something they shouldn’t and suddenly became aware of the silence? The effect is the same. You get attention and have it focussed.
The other effect is that you calm yourself, and you feel the power of that calm. Smile while you do it and you double the effect.
That same feeling and that same effect ome from any ause that you use during your speech – that same feeling of connection and power and that same trip into focus and connection.
Connection is vital. You are not just a speaker. This is a conversation, even if your audience doesn’t say a word. You are still in conversation with their ideas, their stories, their plans for their future, making suggestions, asking questions, giving guidance, taking them with you into the experience that is your presentation.
The other thing that is vital, is your audience having confidence in you – and you having confidence in yourself, so it takes courage, sometimes to slow down and to use pause. Much as the temptation is there to rush, to let the nerves produce nervous excitement, the result is worthwhile because you have, and you emit, that sense of being calm, confident and in control. Let the energy show through, but keep control and relate it to the message, the level of tension you want and the connection you are creating.
Before you begin, remember two things –
Breathe – that is the essence of calm, controlled pause
and
ask How can I connect with this audience, share the experience and serve?
Have fun with it, play with it, and get used to the feeling. Incorporate it into your own individual style. Pause and the mindset it builds can take you as a speaker from ordinary to extraordinary – a great feeling and a big step on the road to speaking success.
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